Quote of the day

After seeing a commercial for Bipolar Disorder Maddy thought she might have the disorder. 

Mom: Do you have racing thoughts?

Maddy: . . . I have thoughts. . . that go through my head. 

Apparently I'm phone number worthy.

I was given my first phone number while serving  table.

I know what you're thinking. . .

About dang time!

Not a good day.

He was one of my favorites. 

January 26, 1925 -September 27, 2008

I'm really sad. 

In other news. . . I was asked today if I had Jewfro.

Nothing else needs to be said about that. 

Applegaurd

I taught Mel all about "The Meeting" today.

Quote of the day

I made the mistake of going to the mall today. 

As always I was accosted by a gay kiosk man selling nail buffers. 

In his gay kiosk man fashion he asked me questions about myself and went on and on about how beautiful I was. 

Then he asked how old I was, his response. . . 

"Oh, so you're of legal age then!" 

Shirt of the day

So I was in art class today when I saw a fellow student with this shirt. . . 

"If you've never thought of suicide, you've never been in love." 

I'd hate to meet any of her ex-boyfriends. 

Why do I stay up so late? Someone shoot me. Quick. 

Quote of the yesterday.

"He is the reason we keep breathing and living, even though there are days when we don't want to breathe anymore." 

-Steven Curtis Chapman

Dang it. . .

I realized tonight that I might never be able to get married. 

I don't think an upstanding man would have me. 

Shoot. 

December come to me quickly

OH MY GOODNESS. I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP THEN DIE AND I CAN'T SAY WHY. 

OOOOHHHHHH MMYYYYYYYY GGOOODDDDNNEEESSSSSSSS. 

Quote of the day

You tell em' Paul!

"If you've got a little gay tendency and you're roaring drunk. . .I'd have caught him once."

"I wanna make another video. . ."

Mel the video Blogger

Really, we can only handle one of her.

For Mawia. 

She'd swim the ocean for you

Lost another one.

The good chain Pomodoro is short a new cashier named Scott, apparently it wasn't working out for him and his stogies. 

Darn shame.

Quote of the day part deuce.

"I'm a sensitive guy, and you just don't understand that."

-Dad

She just realized this?

"Oh my goodness, mom, dad, I JUST now realized what is wrong with me!"

-Maddy.

She gets me every time.

Remind me not to talk to 3 year olds anymore. 

Posting flurry.

MY HERO.

Whhhaaa?

There is a man in my house talking about poop. 

What? 

I smell a two weeks notice.

Quote of the Day

"Do you think it's unprofessional if I have a stogie behind my ear?"

-Scott, the new cashier who isn't so bright. 

Happy Birthday Maria.

"You know, how everyone wants to date their dad, and marry their mom!" -Maria

Happy Birthday dear friend. 

I'm so embarrassed.

It's been so long. I'm ashamed. Ashamed to call myself a blogger. 

I'm not worthy. Not worthy at all. 

In other news, I went on vacation to "The OC" (never call it that or I'll punch you in the face). 

We drove there on Saturday. We had a bit of a set back because our fridge of some 20 odd years passed that morning. It was emotional, but good to know that it is in a better place. The backyard. 

I sang and talked for 7 and a half hours straight. Sometimes both at the same time. I'm not sure if my family has recovered, but I'm doing great! So no worries there.  

On Sunday I got to see my very best friend Maria, which was ahh-mazing. She came back and stayed at my grandma's till Wednesday. 

Okay, this is boring. 

The reason of my post. 

I've discovered a new breed of men. 

Although, the name has been around for awhile. . . I found them, they're real. 

Mermen. 

Yeah. 

For reals. 

So I first saw them on Tuesday. We were at the beach, and I was in the ocean with Maria having a great time, and trying desperately to not have a wardrobe malfunction. I've decided that the ocean is like a large swimming pool that is salty, dirty, and would like to drown and disrobe you. Very similar indeed. 

As we are standing there, we see out in the distance these 5 men, all the same size, all the same hair. 

Weird right? 

Mermen. 

Criteria for Mermen

1. Always shirtless (always, even when not near water) 

2. Board shorts (usually plaid) 

3. Short-ish hair (think Ambercombie model)

4. Nasty giant pecks (think Ambercombie model) 

5. Light must glisten off of their bodies at all times (don't be confused, this is water, not sweat) 

6. Always in packs of at least three (think Tusken Raiders. . .wait, that was two) 

Now, the last one can be broken if it is an ancient merman. In this case they can travel alone. Usually running, along the beach, causing all girls to think to themselves, "Oh, I need to find a man who will age like that".

Beware of impostors. 

Some will have a little beer belly, not a merman. 

Some will appear drunk, not a merman. 

Some will be just shirtless, not a merman, they are just drunk. 

It was a great discovery if I do say so. 

Stay classy mermen. 

Oh yeah.

Me and Jason's mom are friends now. 

I'm making her and Jackie (his sister) t-shirts. 

=)

Quote quote, birthday quote.

"On a positive note, I think I passed a kidney stone today!" -My dad

Happy Birthday to me!

Well then.

I was going to post about "Menstrials", but then I got a phone call that kind of irked me. 

Menstrials is a very special term known only to those who are awesome. 

I'll have to tell about it later. 

Back to the phone call though. . .all I can say is, hallelujah I'm single. 

"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." Andy Warhol

http://www.rickey.org/?p=8344#comment-290657

http://www.rickey.org/?p=8341

Go here. This is my 15 minutes of internet fame. 

Best day ever!. . . tomorrow.

Okay. 

Okay. 

Tomorrow. 

Er, today if you are an annoying person that says that if it is past midnight. 

I am going to go see Jason Castro in concert. 

I'm freaking out. 

Freaking out. 

Hence the fact that I'm not asleep right now. 

Oh my goodness. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: OMG is used in humor. I would never say that seriously. 

OMG you guys. 

OMG. 

Best dream ever last night. 

I'm going to blog about it later tonight. 

OMG.

Jason. 

OMG. 

Quote of the week.

Yeah. 

Quote of the week.

I know, you didn't know it was happening. 

I'm just so freaking excited about this. 

Anyway. 

Hands down.

Quote of the week. 

"You're hot girls. Just kidding" -Mel (To Maria and I) 

The only thing that can make life better right now is Christmas.

Ahah. . .hahaha. . hahahahaha. . . 

The most hilarious thing happened today. 

Hilarious. 

HILARIOUS! (I accidentally typed bilarious just then, how embarrassing) 

I just HAD to go to the mall today because my dad had this little impromptu interview, and needed fab clothing. 

It was fab indeed. 

This trip was totally okay because I needed to go to Hot Topic and by nose cleaner. Like, for my piercing. Nasty thing, keeps getting. .. nasty. 

So as I was making my way quickly to the store of death, there were these two guys behind me. 

Ghetto of course. 

Do any other kind of people shop at the Sun Valley Mall? 

No. 

So they are probably 10 feet behind me, and one of them attempts to whistle. 

Attempts. 

You know, the good ol' whistle that men do that they think is flattering but actually it makes you feel like a hooker? 

Yeah, that one. 

So this guys whistle totally fails, and he is like. . . 

ugh, it didn't work, I can't whistle. 

Then the other one tried. 

No go. 

So they keep trying over and over again, and I'm walking/dying. 

Then finally one of them uses a word that I don't believe should be used by women or infront of women. 

and says, hey you're hot. 

It was very funny. 

Not funny enough though. 

Remind me to never shop at the mall again. 

"Amazon, dot com, I don't mean to flaunt it but it's just the thing you wanted, and it only took two minutes!"

That is going to be my new home. 

Quote of the day: "No one said anything funny" -me. 

And I should not be blogging because I have nothing to say

So today I had my first post-break up asking out. . . 

It was awkward. 

It was a text. 

And it was awkward. 

I said no. 

Awkward. 

Anyway, Mel said THE darndest things today.

My favorite I think was, "Have I ever had a wedgie?" 

Yes, I did teach her what a wedgie was today. 

I used graphic language I would not dream about using on the world wide web. 

So Britt, if she starts saying something along the lines of buttcrack any time soon. . . 

Don't shoot the messenger. 

Oh my gosh!

Sorry that was kinda depressing. 

I just felt like it needed a blog. 

On a lighter side, today my dad said "The other is called Rainy Day Mushroom Pillow."

Amazing. 

1,632 days. Wouldn't have traded them for the world.

You can skyrocket away from me

and never come back till you find another galaxy 

far from here with more room to fly

just leave me your stardust to remember you by.

But you can set sail to the west if you want to

and past the horizon till I can't even see you

far from here where the beaches are wide

just leave me your wake to remember you by. 

-Gregory and the Hawk

LOOK! A person!

Once upon on a time, I went to vote. 

Okay, so I was talking to my good friend Rachel on the phone this evening, and as the clock struck 20 till eight my dad comes up to me and is like. . . Emily go vote. 

So I did. 

Although my gas tank is below empty, I still drove there. Even though it's like a 5 minute walk. 

"Welcome to America, we're going to make you fat!"

I parked in the principal's parking space. I was homeschooled, and it didn't look like a driveway. Hence, not the principal's parking space. 

I had to walk through all these hoodlums because I live in Oakland part 2. 

I passed by some faculty members and they were like "I want to see action, I want to see people arrested." 

Ah.... ahah...hahaha?

I stepped into the voting room.

"LOOK! A person!"

That's exactly what they said. I thought they were going to crap their pants. 

So the very excited tiny old Asian woman, was like, "Okay, come to my table. Your name! Emily! Okay perfect, sign here!" 

She said everything like I was food and she was a starving child from Africa. . . or China. . . 

Then the very fat man smiled at me. His name was Leo or something. . . 

It's because i'm republican. It's true. 

So I made my way to the booth, pulled out my sample ballot that I brought with me to remember who I wanted to vote for.

BAM!

What? Oh my! Is that Jason Castro's name? Is that Jason Castro's name three times? 

Yes, I voted Jason for United States Representative, State Senator, and member of the Assembly. 

I felt that it was my patriotic duty. 

I mean, can those people who vote for Mickey Mouse maybe come up with something more original. Maybe someone who is not fictional AND animated. 

Let's think people. 

I walked back to the little scary machine that pretty much will suck out your soul if you get too close. 

It wouldn't go in. 

I think that somewhere our Forefathers were smiling at me.

Actually they probably hate me. That's why it wouldn't go in.

Sorry George. 

Then the scary Asian lady had to come help me, and some white lady that smiled too much. 

They totally saw who I voted for, hoisted me on their shoulders and crowned me queen of voting!

Not really. 

They totally gave me a dirty look, then they remembered that I was only the 70th person to vote that day, and I was back in their good graces. 

My dad was the first person to vote this morning. 

What is our nation coming to? 

It's okay though, no one else would have voted for Jason anyway. 

Then the smily white lady handed me a "I voted" sticker. 

I politely asked if I could also have a spanish "I voted" sticker. 

Reason 1. I think they are hilarious. 

I don't need a reason 2. 

Then the lady said, "Do you want a whole sheet?" 

I smiled sheepishly and whispered, "yes." 

"Do you want two whole sheets?"

I said, "If you want to give them to me." 

Then someone from the other table (probably an angry Democrat) said, "I'm watching you."

Apparently you only get one sticker. 

I made a quick get away before they made me give them back. 

Voting is awesome. 

They miss me

My dreams want me back. 

Ughhhh. . . sleep. . . come to me. . . 

Quote of the day (yesterday)

"Even God would smile upon you having Jason Castro's illegitimate child." -Nate

That girl

Quote of the day: "Once upon a time, I was asleep" 

-Mel 

Happy Birthday Amelia Jane 

Uhm, my theme song

Sugar and Spice
I never want to marry or to die
I just want to build a kite and fly it in the sky
I only live in castles made of sand
I don't care for many things untouched by human hand

These are the dreams of little girls
who don't want to grow up
sugar and spice, all things nice
so they say we're made of
is that true
is that true

I'll put on my pretty face, tuck away my blues
all dressed up nowhere to go
someone stole my shoes

These are the dreams of different times
they're not mine they're made up

I wont act like a lady as I'm told
I will have adventures
I'll be scarred and bold
Will I be a sailor off to foreign lands
will I fly an airplane cross the desert sands

These are the dreams of little girls
who don't want to grow up
sugar and spice all things nice
so they say we're made of
is that true
is that true.



Ummmm. . . . I love the Ditty Bops.

Woah now

I haven't been to work for 13 house, it MUST be time to go back. 

*throws up*

. . . . .. . . ... ..

I had the most horrible of horrible dreams last night. 

We got a fake Christmas tree, and we decided not to open it till Christmas, and then we did and we didn't like it. 

We had no Christmas tree for Christmas. 

It was horrible. 

Not only that, but contemplating a fake one? No no no. . . not okay. 

Okay, enough about Christmas. 

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Since we are on this theme of sicknesses I really think that it is time for me to blog about Christmas. 

*sigh*

I miss it. 

I probably think about how I want it to be Thanksgiving/Christmas time every other day. 

Not even exaggerating (I spelled that right on my first try!)

For instance, just a second ago I was on the toilet reading an out-dated Time magazine, and there was a picture of Christmas shoppers. 

My heart actually hurt. Not just like, aw I love Christmas. . . no, like, oh man, I am so depressed that it is not Christmas. 

Not only that, but every time a month goes by and it is the 1st I get so excited because I know I am just that much closer to Christmas. 

I hate the summer for the fact that it is lacking a Christmas. 

I haven't decided yet if it is a bad thing that I love Christmas so much. 

I wish whoo-ville was real, and I could live in it. 

I mean seriously, a town where they get ready for Christmas all year. Sign me up. 

Stupid Cindy-loo. Not excited about Christmas. She didn't know how good she had it. 

My favorite movie is It's A Wonderful Life. That and Muppet Christmas Carol (Hello? Uncle?), and White Christmas (Mr. Bones feels crackalin, haha, that's a good one) and any claymation made for TV movie (He's Mr. Green Christmas, he's Mr Sun). All my favorite. . . well, It's A Wonderful Life comes first (Mr. Martini, how bout some wine!)

Oh my goodness. 

I love it all. 

I mean, when is there another time that you can eat candy and cookies for a month straight? And give really fun gifts, and listen to special music, and put a tree in your house?

It's just amazing! The most amazing thing ever invented. 

Ughhh

Most common side effect: 

Deep cleaning my room. 

What the heck? 

I have a sickness.

It's called not doing homework when finals are in a week. 

The side affects of this disease are as follows: 

1. Eating. 

-I'm not talking about meals. . I'm talking about half a tray of rice krispy treats.           You can click on this and it will get bigger

2. Listening to music that I have not listened to since Jr. High. 

-yes Blink 182, this means you.                                       

3. Taking ridiculously long showers. 

-30min give or take. 

4. Watching gymnastics on TV. 

-Just kidding, nothing would drive me to do that. 

5. Blog 

I'm going to fail all my classes apparently.

. . .Oooo, maybe I'll go text someone I don't actually want to talk to but it will give me another reason to avoid studying. 

Heck yes. 

 

Some mighty fine teeth

I'm getting a sparkly rainbow retainer. 

If you're not jealous, you're not human. 

Because you all have been worrying about me, I'm doing better with the Jason Castro's elimination. 

I have seen many exit interviews and he seems very happy. 

Right now I'm just devising my plan of how I can get him and his girlfriend to break up. 

Not really any great ideas that don't involve someone dying yet. 

I'm sure something will come to me. 

I want to quite my job. Maybe I will. Not today though. 

I have to go get ready to make some money. 

I still hate American Idol. Too bad I wont stop watching it. 

I'm going to post pictures of Jason still so you can see how pretty he is.