Tuesday, June 3, 2008

LOOK! A person!

Once upon on a time, I went to vote. 

Okay, so I was talking to my good friend Rachel on the phone this evening, and as the clock struck 20 till eight my dad comes up to me and is like. . . Emily go vote. 

So I did. 

Although my gas tank is below empty, I still drove there. Even though it's like a 5 minute walk. 

"Welcome to America, we're going to make you fat!"

I parked in the principal's parking space. I was homeschooled, and it didn't look like a driveway. Hence, not the principal's parking space. 

I had to walk through all these hoodlums because I live in Oakland part 2. 

I passed by some faculty members and they were like "I want to see action, I want to see people arrested." 

Ah.... ahah...hahaha?

I stepped into the voting room.

"LOOK! A person!"

That's exactly what they said. I thought they were going to crap their pants. 

So the very excited tiny old Asian woman, was like, "Okay, come to my table. Your name! Emily! Okay perfect, sign here!" 

She said everything like I was food and she was a starving child from Africa. . . or China. . . 

Then the very fat man smiled at me. His name was Leo or something. . . 

It's because i'm republican. It's true. 

So I made my way to the booth, pulled out my sample ballot that I brought with me to remember who I wanted to vote for.


What? Oh my! Is that Jason Castro's name? Is that Jason Castro's name three times? 

Yes, I voted Jason for United States Representative, State Senator, and member of the Assembly. 

I felt that it was my patriotic duty. 

I mean, can those people who vote for Mickey Mouse maybe come up with something more original. Maybe someone who is not fictional AND animated. 

Let's think people. 

I walked back to the little scary machine that pretty much will suck out your soul if you get too close. 

It wouldn't go in. 

I think that somewhere our Forefathers were smiling at me.
Actually they probably hate me. That's why it wouldn't go in.

Sorry George. 

Then the scary Asian lady had to come help me, and some white lady that smiled too much. 

They totally saw who I voted for, hoisted me on their shoulders and crowned me queen of voting!

Not really. 

They totally gave me a dirty look, then they remembered that I was only the 70th person to vote that day, and I was back in their good graces. 

My dad was the first person to vote this morning. 

What is our nation coming to? 

It's okay though, no one else would have voted for Jason anyway. 

Then the smily white lady handed me a "I voted" sticker. 

I politely asked if I could also have a spanish "I voted" sticker. 

Reason 1. I think they are hilarious. 

I don't need a reason 2. 

Then the lady said, "Do you want a whole sheet?" 

I smiled sheepishly and whispered, "yes." 

"Do you want two whole sheets?"

I said, "If you want to give them to me." 

Then someone from the other table (probably an angry Democrat) said, "I'm watching you."

Apparently you only get one sticker. 

I made a quick get away before they made me give them back. 

Voting is awesome. 

1 comment:

The Hansons said...

Grace and I enjoyed your blog this morning. She said
"mom, Emily voted too"
I said "yes she did"
she said "can I touch Emily's stickers?"
I said "no, I'm sorry, she is too far away"
she said "Emily can put her sticker on her hand"
I said "uh-huh"
She said "Emily can put her stickers on MY hand"

You make small children everywhere envious.