Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'm so embarrassed.

It's been so long. I'm ashamed. Ashamed to call myself a blogger. 

I'm not worthy. Not worthy at all. 

In other news, I went on vacation to "The OC" (never call it that or I'll punch you in the face). 

We drove there on Saturday. We had a bit of a set back because our fridge of some 20 odd years passed that morning. It was emotional, but good to know that it is in a better place. The backyard. 

I sang and talked for 7 and a half hours straight. Sometimes both at the same time. I'm not sure if my family has recovered, but I'm doing great! So no worries there.  

On Sunday I got to see my very best friend Maria, which was ahh-mazing. She came back and stayed at my grandma's till Wednesday. 

Okay, this is boring. 

The reason of my post. 

I've discovered a new breed of men. 

Although, the name has been around for awhile. . . I found them, they're real. 



For reals. 

So I first saw them on Tuesday. We were at the beach, and I was in the ocean with Maria having a great time, and trying desperately to not have a wardrobe malfunction. I've decided that the ocean is like a large swimming pool that is salty, dirty, and would like to drown and disrobe you. Very similar indeed. 

As we are standing there, we see out in the distance these 5 men, all the same size, all the same hair. 

Weird right? 


Criteria for Mermen
1. Always shirtless (always, even when not near water) 
2. Board shorts (usually plaid) 
3. Short-ish hair (think Ambercombie model)
4. Nasty giant pecks (think Ambercombie model) 
5. Light must glisten off of their bodies at all times (don't be confused, this is water, not sweat) 
6. Always in packs of at least three (think Tusken Raiders. . .wait, that was two) 

Now, the last one can be broken if it is an ancient merman. In this case they can travel alone. Usually running, along the beach, causing all girls to think to themselves, "Oh, I need to find a man who will age like that".

Beware of impostors. 

Some will have a little beer belly, not a merman. 

Some will appear drunk, not a merman. 

Some will be just shirtless, not a merman, they are just drunk. 

It was a great discovery if I do say so. 

Stay classy mermen.