Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm over my twenties.

I can't sleep.

I just started attending Cal State Fullerton, and I've already discovered that I can't be a crafts major. It wasn't at all what I expected.

Let's just say there are a lot of butch girls, baggy pants, and steal toed shoes involved.

But I love writing and public speaking.
God has given me a weird desire to get up in front of people and talk.
I wish I had good things to say.

I think I'm going to go back home.

Work this semester.

Take classes at DVC in the spring to prepare me for my new major, communications.

Then transfer to SFSU in the Fall of '10.

It would only put me a semester behind.

And I would save money in the long run because I would only have to pay for 3 semesters.

Also, I would have a degree that could get me a job after I graduate.


I should probably also add that I miss northern California more than anything. I'm not even including people.

I just miss the whole thing.

The mountains (specifically Mt. Diablo, just as you are driving toward Walnut Creek from Lafayette. Every time I see that I ask God how he could make something so beautiful), I miss my favorite part of the world (the thousands of trees at that one point before the Caldecott tunnel, and you feel like you are just being whisked away in a sea of green), I miss the smogless skies, I miss the winter ( I know it hasn't happened yet, but I know I'll miss it if I stay) I miss the semi-trafficless freeways (I used to think there was a lot of traffic, silly me), I miss brunettes, and I miss real boobs (I know that sounds weird, but come stay here awhile and you'll know what I mean).

I suppose I miss the people too.

I miss Liv, Mel and Will.
I miss our dance parties and forcing them to watch classic cartoons on Boomerang
I miss Liv getting so big
Mel saying the most interesting and unsettling things
And Will being able to name every single engine and caboose from Thomas the Tank Engine.

I miss Britt and Nate and them letting me stay at their house when I felt I was using to much gas to get home.

I miss complaining about my mom and dad with Britt.
I miss Nate's hugs (because he gives really good hugs).

I also miss their fridge which always had string cheese.

I miss my little sister, and the fact that I can't make sure she doesn't have an awkward stage.
Those braces are going to go back on at some point.
She will need help.

I miss my mom, and no matter how late I would be out the night before, she would always be there in the morning with her tea and a book, and we would talk about random things.
I never really even knew that she was upset that I was out so late.
Until she told me. . today.

I miss how caring my dad is, and how he would do anything at the drop of a hat if you just asked him (and I'm sorry I took advantage of your kindness so often)
I miss getting texted random "?" from him, and having no idea what it meant.
I miss him getting so excited when I'd be home and he'd actually get to see me for a minute or two.
I miss how he can tell the history of every band from 1960-1980.
I wish I remembered more of what he said so I could sound smart at parties.

I miss friends.

I miss Pac Bay iced tea.

I miss Mitchell Mathers.
(say that 10 times fast)

I miss the free tea and goldfish at Scott's.
Sometimes that was my dinner.

I guess I just miss it.

I miss it.

I miss my home.


nate and britt morgan said...

wow....i think you're the first of us kids to ever get homesick.

Emily the Magnificent. said...

That just means that I am the most loved.


Emily the Magnificent. said...


Chatty Cathy said...

Omg. I have a BA in Communications. DON'T DO IT! If there's one piece of advice I can give, it's to not choose that major. Definitely go for a major that is more specific and less broad.

People will tell you "oh, that degree can take you into any field"... NO IT CAN'T.

I'm telling you - learn a specific trade. Or take courses that will specifically back up your major when you go to grad school. If only someone had told me all this when I was in college ...

Anonymous said...

if i am not mistaken.. coachelle lasted longer than your stint as a titan..

go coachelle.
yeah home.

maddy said...

just for the record if you come home, the bathroom's mine.. you have to use britt and nates. and Dr. whatever said my teeth are perfect, so ha! and em now that you're a dropout i will be the only sandberg child to graduate collage and i'll have a degree in tattoo/piercing/hairdressing/make up artist/ photography ( I'm hoping that will exist when i in collage)

aspiring said...

Hi Em, I'm so sorry to read/hear about your strife while away at college for the 1st time. Homesickness is very common. There is a lot of stress when you have such a big life change. What you are going through is very normal.

I would say that since you are so unhappy, maybe you can make a specific date in the future, say 3 weeks or 1 month. Make an effort to get into school and socialize for the time you've set. If you are still enormously unhappy, you can still leave and go back home to your old life and new major.

I dont know if communications will get you a job when you graduate. I think it wont really matter what you major in as long as you are personable and intelligent (which I understand you to be!)

I believe you will be fine and land on your feet no matter what the decision or major or school. Make yourself happy, but be pragmatic.

I wish you only the best and know that you will be alright.


Emily the Magnificent. said...

Madeline, don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to Britt and Nate's apartment to use their bathroom. Secondly, I'm only dropping out from this school, but going to another. So I will still be the first Sandberg child to graduate, Miss "I'm not even graduating from high school"

maddy said...

i'm SKIPPING high school! and i get home sick even when i'm at home... so i'm the most loved!