I wish I had exciting things to say on here.

But I really don't.

Nothing of great importance has gone on.

Tomorrow after work I might go make cupcakes.

That is of great importance I suppose.

So many decisions.

To apply to UC Berkeley or to not apply to UC Berkeley. . . that is the question.

Bob&Sally

So one thing that I haven't talked about yet is how thankful I am for my grandparents putting up with me and my madness the past week and a half.

They were so kind to, first, invite me to stay with them, and secondly, get ready for me to come, and thirdly, not get mad at me when I freaked out this week.

They were prepared for me to live with them for the next two years, and I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm going to miss all of the times I would have had with them while I was studying at Fullerton.

My grandparents have had a definite impact on me as a person.

If it wasn't for my grandpa, I would have no idea how to shuffle cards, I would never have read The Bobbsey Twins by the Seashore, and I would not have so many great memories of him reading Tom and Jerry and Tweety Bird Golden Books to me when I was a little girl (voices and all).

If it wasn't for my grandma, I probably wouldn't have a knack for sewing, I wouldn't be half as funny (since all the funny genes in my family obviously come from her), I wouldn't know who Little Audrey was, and watching that made me love old music like The Andrews Sisters etc.

I would never have flown kites at the beach.

I would never know to say "phooey" after getting ocean water in my mouth.

I wouldn't find myself calling stores or sexual preferences by different names, such as "WallaceMart" or "Lebanese".

I wouldn't have half the appreciation for small dogs that I do,

and I would never ever have had the pleasure of eating the best ambrosia that was ever made.

I love my grandparents.

Burnin' the candle at both ends.

Two jobs.

Could I handle it?

Maybe I should take up knitting. . .

I have a little too much down time at the moment.

I haven't showered.

It's 2 o'clock.

On the other hand, this water and carrot afternoon snack is delightful to my stomach.

I don't actually want to have your babies, even though they would be beautiful.

I hit the jackpot.

The Jason Castro jackpot.

The day my family came down to drop me off at school, he put on a free concert at The Grove in Beverly Hills (wait, that's Beverly Hills, right?)

Then the day I dropped out of school (approximately 7 days later) he had another concert in Beverly Hills.

So I see my time here in southern California merely as a groupie experience.

A little souvenir for my time

I got this for fun today.

I'm going to see how long I can get my children to believe that I attended CSFU

Or that I grew up in the 70s.

Either would suffice.

Go to school and be a college kid

I failed.

But only for a little bit.

I'm over my twenties.

I can't sleep.

I just started attending Cal State Fullerton, and I've already discovered that I can't be a crafts major. It wasn't at all what I expected.

Let's just say there are a lot of butch girls, baggy pants, and steal toed shoes involved.

But I love writing and public speaking.

God has given me a weird desire to get up in front of people and talk.

I wish I had good things to say.

I think I'm going to go back home.

Work this semester.

Take classes at DVC in the spring to prepare me for my new major, communications.

Then transfer to SFSU in the Fall of '10.

It would only put me a semester behind.

And I would save money in the long run because I would only have to pay for 3 semesters.

Also, I would have a degree that could get me a job after I graduate.

Thoughts?

I should probably also add that I miss northern California more than anything. I'm not even including people.

I just miss the whole thing.

The mountains (specifically Mt. Diablo, just as you are driving toward Walnut Creek from Lafayette. Every time I see that I ask God how he could make something so beautiful), I miss my favorite part of the world (the thousands of trees at that one point before the Caldecott tunnel, and you feel like you are just being whisked away in a sea of green), I miss the smogless skies, I miss the winter ( I know it hasn't happened yet, but I know I'll miss it if I stay) I miss the semi-trafficless freeways (I used to think there was a lot of traffic, silly me), I miss brunettes, and I miss real boobs (I know that sounds weird, but come stay here awhile and you'll know what I mean).

I suppose I miss the people too.

I miss Liv, Mel and Will.

I miss our dance parties and forcing them to watch classic cartoons on Boomerang

I miss Liv getting so big

Mel saying the most interesting and unsettling things

And Will being able to name every single engine and caboose from Thomas the Tank Engine.

I miss Britt and Nate and them letting me stay at their house when I felt I was using to much gas to get home.

I miss complaining about my mom and dad with Britt.

I miss Nate's hugs (because he gives really good hugs).

I also miss their fridge which always had string cheese.

I miss my little sister, and the fact that I can't make sure she doesn't have an awkward stage.

Those braces are going to go back on at some point.

She will need help.

I miss my mom, and no matter how late I would be out the night before, she would always be there in the morning with her tea and a book, and we would talk about random things.

I never really even knew that she was upset that I was out so late.

Until she told me. . today.

I miss how caring my dad is, and how he would do anything at the drop of a hat if you just asked him (and I'm sorry I took advantage of your kindness so often)

I miss getting texted random "?" from him, and having no idea what it meant.

I miss him getting so excited when I'd be home and he'd actually get to see me for a minute or two.

I miss how he can tell the history of every band from 1960-1980.

I wish I remembered more of what he said so I could sound smart at parties.

I miss friends.

I miss Pac Bay iced tea.

I miss Mitchell Mathers.

(say that 10 times fast)

I miss the free tea and goldfish at Scott's.

Sometimes that was my dinner.

I guess I just miss it.

I miss it.

I miss my home.

Oh dear.

I think I'm quitting.

It's been a rough day.

I was just reading my Bible, and I had something written in the margin next to Ephesians.

"The same grace that grows me is the same grace that raised Christ from the dead."

That really encouraged me. I love finding things in the margins.

Also, Ephesians 2:12-14

"Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is out peace who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility."

Food for thought.

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my!

""How about my heart?" asked the Tin Woodman.

"Why as for that," answered Oz, "I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart."

"That must be a matter of opinion," said the Tin Woodman. "For my part, I will bear all the unhappiness without a murmur, if you will give me the heart.""

I just now finished The Wizard of Oz.

I started it last semester.

I didn't pick it up once this summer.

I was very happy when I discovered I still knew how to read.

Home sweet. . .

This is my new closet.

It looks very similar to my old closet.

We'll see if I need distraction.

I think I'll start this again when I go to school.

Maybe.

I'm not making a promise.

So don't get your hopes up.